This is a very hard post to write. If you aren't involved in my life, you may want to skip it entirely. I am mainly writing it here so I don't have to type it or another version of it in several places. I have been almost nonexistent in all of my pages, etc on the computer.
Most of you know I was in a motorcycle accident December 5 that has put Hubby and me out of commisson. Ir has done more damage than physical. We are both an emotional mess as well. Coming to the realization that nothing will ever be the same is hard. Couple that with other extenuating life factors and we both have become severely depressed which makes it even harder to do anything or get things done that used to be easy.
I was forced to go back to work to keep my insurance paid. While hubby has the VA to rely on and can get most medical done there, without insurance, I am in a heap of trouble. My prescriptions for my fibro, hbp, rls, gerd, etc.... are over 2000.00 a month if out of my pocket. Work is not going well on 2 different fronts. I am not able to walk or stand well and my job has continual standing and walking and carrying heavy boxes. We are also being looked at for a buy out and the new company, if it takes over, means that I would lose my insurance and my retirement (4 years to state retirement with my 80 points) regardless of wheter they decided to take me on or not. Which now is probably a not with my "handicap"
My main family support was my Dad. In the middle of this, he moved 1300 miles away and so I lost that. My Daughter has a new boyfriend and so her calls and texts have become less frequent. The rest of my family is so scattered around the country, that they were infrequent support anyway.
My house looks like a war zone and the outside looks like the house has been abandoned. With my ankle so badly screwed up, pulling weeds and cleaning is difficult at best and very painful at worst. Looking at the mess everywhere doesn't help my mood and is pushing me deeper into depression. When dad moved, a lot of things got given to me and are piled up inside and outside ( rocks, tumblers, etc) for me to go through and use or find homes for.
Right now, my life consists of dragging myself to work, coming home and putting my foot up to try to bring swelling and pain down to magaeable levels and repeating Monday to Friday. Weekends, I rest and try to get the swelling down even more. It seems my ankle will never be without swelling.....
The doctor says I have 3 more months of healing and if I still have problems- it keeps "catching" - I will be looking at more surgery and time off work. If that happens, there is a strong possibility that my job will be over as I have no more FML (family medical leave) That is, if the other company hasn't already taken over and sent me packing, or theUniversity hasn't already terminated me.
I managed to do the sand and sea blog - barely. And am going to attempt to honor my commitment to the bead soup blog hop this weekend if it kills me.... But I have goten way behind on my destash. Making 2 trips to the Post office for each ( need weights to determine postage cost)became too daunting as all I can do from home is the small priority box and most orders would be lost in that "big" box considering the size of their orders.please be patient while I sort it out.
If you are a praying person, I could use all the prayers you can. I have never in my life been this discouraged and depressed.